Gay Kissing as Weapon of Choice

In a recent gamer survey parents would much rather see violence (decapitation) than two men kissing in their child's video games.

Check out this clip from the video game Bully in which two dudes make out. The clip is ridiculous, but not offensive. Well. The noise they make while making out is a little much. I love the dialogue, too: I'm hot. You're hot. Let's make out. Or second best line: I'm a totally awesome kisser, right?

Do these parents fear their children will turn gay by playing the video game?

Homosocial (?) Behavior

I am now a fan of Brian Finke's photography. Not because of the half-naked dude-age. The photograph above comes from his Frat Boy series, which captures the drunken brotherly love. Finke's work is in the moment; doesn't seem staged at all. Yet he chooses to work with artificial lighting, so things feel theatrical or staged. Me likes.

Fruitcake'd

At the recent National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Leadership Awards ceremony, honoree John Waters had this funny bit to say about voting:


“Of course, vote,” Waters said. He then added, “I’m tired of liberals saying, ‘They stole the election.’ Well, let’s steal it this time. I always vote three or four times in every election. And can’t gay neighborhoods fix up [the voting places] better? Have them put glory holes in the voting booths. When you vote, pick somebody up!”

Hi-larious.

I also loved what he had to say about (not) going to the gym:

“I’m the only gay man who’s never been to the gym,” he explained. “If I could find a trainer to give me the body of a junkie, I’d be there! I’ve never been to the baths either. Me in a towel, horny? I couldn’t get laid. I get laid by making people laugh. And that’s what gay people should do: Use their wit and their humor as terrorism to win.”

I hear he is working on a children's film called: Fruitcake. Let's hope the rumors are true.

This is the kinda thing you find at an antique mall in Saugatuck

If only I had known about Jordache doll back in '81...

I wonder what accessories he comes with: Amyl Nitrite? A jock strap?

Remember how Strawberry Shortcake smelled like strawberries (or carpet deodorizer). What do you think he smells like? I'm thinking locker room. The smell of balls. And Irish Spring.

His jeans could be a little tighter. I think my mom had a belt just like that one.

Man. I could only imagine the trouble he'd get into with He-Man.

Sensitivity

Tales of THE City

San Francisco is THE city. I had no idea. I was like, fuck San Francisco and the hippies and the faggots and give me a real working class city like Boston or Chicago. Well, I take it back. I spent a couple days in San Francisco and I fell in love with it. Hard. I've decided I will live there some day. Don't know how I'd afford it, but it will happen.

But for the time being, I'm going to revisit the city in the fiction of Armistead Maupin. I just read his first Tales of the City.

I'm really not much for writing reviews. I'll leave that to Divine and M.T. I'll just recommend the book. It's a soap opera. Ridiculous things happen. But it's the characters that keep you going. The relationships (straight and gay) are believable. You really do care about the characters and you want them to find love. San Francisco in the '70s was a time of free love; yet people struggled to find true love. ECK. This is why I don't write reviews. Vomit. It's a great book. Read it.

I'm going to watch the PBS series when I go visit M.T. in a week--he owns the DVD collection. I can't wait to see what they did with it.

Then I'll have to see the musical. Did you hear about this? Avenue Q guy and Scissor Sisters' band members are working on the musical slated to hit Broadway in 2009/2010.

I just started reading another San Franciscan novel: The Mayor of Castro Street: The Life and Times of Harvey Milk by Randy Shilts. I've seen the Academy Award-winning documentary The Times of Harvey Milk--if you haven't seen it, rent it, Netflix it, get it. And soon, we'll be seeing Gus Van Sant's film starring Sean Penn as Milk.

Breeding Between the Lines

On our way to Saugatuck this past weekend, K8 and I drove past a town called Breedsville. It gave me the heebie jeebies. I imagined this or the kids up above from the film Village of the Damned. I stepped on the gas so we could get as far away as possible.

K8 dug up an old story about a friend of hers who had once gone to a sex party out in Saugatuck. The party/orgy took place in a barn. He had to pay a cover at the door. Inside, he fucked and was fucked by who knows how many strangers. My first thought: God, that must have smelled. My second thought: Did he use protection? Apparently, he wasn't--or he wasn't sure. How can you tell when you are on the receiving end of things?

So, where is he now? He's living in New York. He's been in a relationship with a woman for over 3 years. A woman. K8 said that back in her undergrad years (6-8 years ago) she would get so drunk over at his apartment and have to sleep on his couch. She'd hear him fucking guys ("it sounded like they were moving furniture," K8 said) and he'd come out after and tell K8: "You should see his ass. Really. I want you to see it. It's beautiful." This guy is with a woman? How can you go from loving a man's ass--wait, hold up, how can you go from anonymous gay sex in barns to a breed box?

The Breeders have a new album out. Very exciting. I've been a fan since their breakout Pod in '90. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the early 90s. Seriously. Some of my favorite albums (PJ Harvey Rid of Me, Pavement Slanted and Enchanted, My Bloody Valentine Loveless) all came out then. Go check out the lovely and extremely talented Heather Phares' review at Allmusic.

Recently, I found out the gays are using the verb breed instead of bareback. It means to have unprotected anal intercourse or as the Urban Dictionary says: The act of blowing a load or taking a load up the ass without a rubber. I thought to breed meant to impregnate. Or mate. Why are the gays using it? Thoughts?

Why One Shouldn't Have Children (Reason #187)

My friend K8 from Chicago paid a visit on Saturday. We had a good chat about life, love, and the future. What do we see in the future? I can tell you what we don't see: children. K8 feels the pressure from her family (and society) to have children. K8 had this to say on the subject:

I have strangers, people I meet at work or wherever, telling me that I'd make a good mother. I'm like, you've talked to me how many times? For how long? You don't know me. What, I'm a woman so that means I'd make a good mother?

K8 told me this amusing (and frightening) story about a group of third-graders who had plotted to kill their teacher. If you're thinking about having kids, please read this story and reconsider. You may think, oh no, not me, not my child. You may think you can raise him or her "right". But honestly, once that kid enters the public school system--Good fucking luck.

This post is for all you women out there feeling the pressure to poop out some kids. You don't have to do it. Fuck society. Fuck your family. Fuck your mom and her "wanting grandchildren." Fuck your dad for "wanting you to carry on the family name." Yeah, and the family history of depression, drug abuse, alcohol addiction, and bad Irish skin--oh wait, that's my story. Fuck your sister for hanging onto her kids' baby clothes "just in case." And fuck all you gays wanting to be "normal" by starting a family. Put all that energy into your careers, fixing up the house, owning nice things. Buy a dog. What, I'm selfish? I think I'm self-less. Life is hard, mofos. Seriously. Let's (not) think about the children here.

Xanadu? Xana-don't

In the recent issue of The Advocate, Cheyenne Jackson (star of recent Broadway musical sensation Xanadu--uh yeah, that Xanadu)opens up about the first time he felt those gay feelings:

“...I think I was, like, 7 -- I was watching this Valentine’s Day Popeye cartoon episode that would play every year. There was this scene where Popeye was captured by Brutus, tied up with no shoes or socks on, and Brutus starts tickling his feet. I remember getting a little boner, and I didn’t know what it was about that scene that was creating that, but I knew that it was something naughty that I couldn’t tell anybody, and I definitely knew it was something that made me different. But every year, I couldn’t wait for that episode.”


Pretty Cheyenne got me thinking about my gay childhood. I can't remember what I was watching--as a child, my cousins and I would watch an unhealthy amount of slasher flicks and horror films. I'm sure it was a sex scene or gratuitous shower scene or something where I saw a naked whatever, I honestly don't even know if it mattered male or female. Either way, I remember popping my first chub and being absolutely horrified by it. I actually yelled out loud: What's wrong with my wee wee?!

My older cousins just laughed at me. Bastards. They knew, but they didn't even explain it to me. I remember feeling ashamed, but back then I felt shame and guilt every other second because of my Catholic upbringing.

I can't really recall any true gay feeling. But I can remember being called out for being different. All the time. As kids, superheroes were a big deal. The boys in the neighborhood and I would play superhero. We'd choose our favorite: Batman, Superman, Green Lantern. I always wanted to be Wonder Woman.


Honestly, I can't say why. It could have been the invisible plane or the lasso. I just thought she was cool. And I wanted to be her. It had nothing to do with gender. But being with the boys it was. Wonder woman's a girl, they'd say. You're a boy. So who did I choose as a back-up? Aquaman. Hm. Yeah. Swimming around with dolphins. Not gay at all.

I never wanted to be a girl. But I did like girl things. Yet I also liked boy things. I collected both the He-Man and She-Ra action figures/dolls. Do you all remember the She-Ra action figure? Bitch needed conditioner. Bad. So yeah, He-Man and She-Ra. I also had G.I.Joes. I'd have my G.I.Joes ride around on My Little Pony's. I'd have the androgynous looking G.I.Joes play women characters and hook them up with the more butch Joes. But honestly-seriously how gay was Gung Ho? We've all avoided Gung Ho at the bars. My favorite G.I. 'Mo was Shipwreck. Doesn't he look familiar? Yeah. He looks a little like M.T. with a parrot.

You know I'm gonna create a new memory today. I got my first little boner watching Shipwreck on G.I.Joe: The Real American Hero (the cartoon). And it wasn't scary. It was beautiful.

Putting Porn Into Perspective

Sorry about the alliteration there in the title. Ah, the poetics of porn.

I guess I said a lot--perhaps too much--on the subject of gay porn in my last post. I'd like to break it down and come to a conclusion on the subject.

We're a group that is defined by sex. But what happens when the group is broken down into categories of sexual taste? I mean, twink, bear, and "straight-acting" gays now have their own culture. They are gay plus. What happens if these categories become something more? Could we see a new language form to separate the bears from not only the mainstream straight culture, but from the other types of gays?

One final thought: I just looked back at what I'd written and I'd like to revisit what I'd said about barebacking porn. It made me uncomfortable to read what I'd written because the truth of it is unsettling. I am in no way supporting it. I know there are people out there who get off on barebacking and the danger of possibly getting infected during unprotected sex. There are also infected men out there who get off on infecting non-infected men. I'm not about that at all. To me, those homosexuals hate themselves. They hate being gay so they get infected and infect other self-hating homosexuals.

All of you smart homosexuals out there know that sex can't be had without protection.

Porn is fantasy. But is it something more? If I watch porn that has a lot of kissing and "loving", I think to myself, this is important to see. Kissing, especially. Kissing is a form of affection. It represents a natural sort of love and tenderness. Fucking is lust. It puts homosexual desire into action. So gay porn with kissing and fucking becomes something more to me. It becomes a weapon. A freedom. The act of fucking may be absent of love, but the expression is not. Does that make sense? I don't know. It's fucking, right? People getting paid to fuck. It's prostitution, right? Or is it something more?

My NSFW Post

Today's topic: Porn. That's right, folks. Gonna get down and dirty on the down and dirty. Say what.

So, I look at porn. (Shrugs, turns bright red.) I hate to admit it, honestly. But M.T. lives in California now. I see him every 4-6 weeks. What am I to do? I needs to see naked mens from time to time. Cut me some slack.

Finding good porn is quite the search. It takes time. First, you have all the websites or blogs to sift through and then it's onto trolling the categories to find the type of man or situation you want to see. It's quite an exhausting process. For all you unfamiliar, here is a break down of the categories of gay porn:

Twinks

If I were in my twenties, or barely legals, and if I were needing money for my heroin/cocaine addiction and were molested as a child, I probably would have ended up in someone's basement to make this sort of porn. Fortunately, I never had an addiction I couldn't afford and I never was molested, so I wound up not in the porn biz. Any way. Twink as we know is a fit, slim/slender young man with little to no body hair. Usually, 18-22 in age, but really, some of these kids look barely legal. It's a bit disturbing. Side note: I hope that M writes a post one of these days on X/Y Magazine. That magazine is geared towards educated, old men. Have you read the articles?

Mature

Sadly, this means 30 plus. Yep. The porn category I'd be in today. Depressing.

Bears

OK. I have a secret. I look at bear porn. For the most part, I look at it because it fascinates me. And I really want to see men. Twinks and athletic men bore me to tears. Seriously, if you want to kill my boner give me a man with a shiny face, shaved chest, and over-pruned eyebrows. If I wanted a girl, I'd be straight. Back to bears. These fellas are masculine and celebrate their masculinity. Good for them. Let the hair grow, in every and all places and not be ashamed. Well done. The problem I have with the bears besides the hair growing in every and all places would be the grunting. Even the grunting is over-exaggerated. I watch these men fuck and I do feel like I'm at Lincoln Park Zoo watching the real bears fuck. It's quite comical. If you need a good laugh, find yourself some bear porn.

Jocks/Studs/Hunks/Muscles

What is up with the "straight"-acting gays? Or the straight man being turned gay fantasy? This is the most popular category of gay porn out there. These men. All they do is fuck and go to the gym. I hate them. I also hate their dumb ass tattoos.

Another thing I've noticed in the "straight"-acting gay/straight boy turns fag fantasy: Blindfolds. Usually, the men fucking or being sucked wears a blindfold so he doesn't have to look at man sucking or asshole he is fucking because if he were to see what he was doing that would validate his homosexuality. What doesn't make sense to me is the man that wears a blindfold to suck a dick. Hm. Uh, you don't see the dick in your mouth, so that's okay?

Also, one last thing on this porn. It is my least favorite, yet there are so many awful elements I must share. Men will flip a coin or draw a card from a pack of playing cards--so if one man gets a Queen and the other man pulls a 5, the man with the Queen (higher card) is the penetrator. And the man who has to get fucked always looks or acts disappointed. Bizarre.

Bareback

Very controversial. I mean, this is quite frightening. Yet, I'll be honest, and I'm very very ashamed to it admit to this: It's a turn-on. And I'm sure it's the element of danger that's the turn-on here. The fantasy is to be able to because in reality you can't.

Thugs and Gangstas

Black gay men are referred to as 'gangstas' and 'thugs' in gay porn. I may have to write a separate post on gay black representation anywheres because it's really fascinating to me. And it needs to be addressed.

Orgy

Never look at this porn. One cock is plenty. I would have an anxiety attack if there were more than one.

OK. I could go on, but I won't. I'll not even touch fisting, facials, gloryholes, pissing, scat play, and all other weird crazy shit. Won't go there.

There you have it. The ins and out of the ol'in and out. Perhaps I'll write a follow-up/or part two to this post with a proper conclusion.

I'll be seeing M.T. in two or three weeks. Till then. Keep jerking, bitches!

Howdy, Partner

So, I've been with M.T. for more than two years now, and we're at the stage where I find it odd to refer to him as a boyfriend. We're not boys. We're both in our thirties. We're men. We're two men who are in love and who have been together in a committed relationship for more than two years now--so what are we to refer to each other as?

There are a few options and I hate them all:

Partner

It feels strange saying it out loud. I used it once for the first time a week or two ago and I thought to myself: Do they know what I mean by that? Or do they think of M.T. as a business partner? Or maybe they think we moonlight as detectives? Or perhaps they'll think about our collection of Country-Western shirts and assume we're cowboys. I don't know. I don't like it. It doesn't mean love to me. It's partnership. It feels cold and business-like.

Life Partner

Don't like it at all. It's very science fiction. In robot voice: He. Is. My. Life. Partner. Or maybe it's too lesbian. Not sure. It doesn't work. It sounds like robot and smells like granola. Next--

Significant Other

Yeah, let's emphasize other, shall we? No thanks.

Husband

Well, gay marriage is illegal and all, but we could have a commitment ceremony or whatever gays do and pretend marriage and then what are we? I refuse husband because husband is what straight people use. Can't do it.

Any ideas? I guess we'll have to create something. We need a gay language. That's what we need. There has to be some level of separation from the straight world.

That's a whole other blog.

What we need is a leader

Is it not being educated? Is it self-hatred? Why is this happening?

There was a time that I had referred to myself as a homophobic homosexual. Some people may still claim that I am. I'm not a homophobic homosexual. I don't hate my people. I just wish my people would stop doing stupid shit. Stop doing what is expected of you. Yeah, most people want to see us die. I remember my uncle (who was 18 at the time, I was 9 or 10) saying to me, God made AIDS to kill fags because they're sinners. He wrote an article about it in the school newspaper. This must have been 1986 or 1987. I will never forget him saying that to me. How can I forget? It wasn't just my uncle. We've all heard hateful things being said from ignorant people.

My advice to the gay community: Live. Be here. Speak your mind. We can't be dying off. We need to take over. Be seen as much as possible. Anywhere. Everywhere. The more we're seen, the more normal it becomes.

We need leaders. We need another Harvey Milk. We need someone to take charge of the community. To speak up and bring us together. We're not together. We can care less about each other. This is why we infect each other. Killing each other off. It's what they want. It's what they expect.

Sorry, I got a little angry there at the end. I'm just exhausted.

Maybe I do like football

Cruising for a Bruising

First, we get this piece of shit and now this.
I'm thinking we should go back to the golden age of film and bring back the catty sissy character who is often found backstage hemming some actress' dress (and secretly wanting to be that actresses, so that he can wear the dress). Or maybe we should go back to gays being represented as sick, demented, cross-dressing serial killers.

Faggots are taking whatever they can get these days and calling it progress. I thought Brokeback was a step forward. Here was a film that showed dudes in love. It was okay. Getting there. Better than Broken Hearts Club.

Chuck and Larry pissed me off. And GLAAD supports it. My favorite quote from the interview: Through the disarming use of comedy, there is an exploration of homophobia, which often involves stereotypes and slurs, and it holds a mirror up to that and asks people to consider where it comes from. This is a film that has twenty something tiring jokes about "who's the woman" in the relationship. Or this(???):

Chuck Levine: What do you got?
Larry Valentine: Maxi Pads.
Chuck Levine: What, do we have vaginas now? Put it back!

Is this what GLAAD considers to be an 'exploration of homophobia'? This film isn't clever or smart or subversive or anything. It's fucking idiotic.

Now Cruising is back. In the theater? People are seeing it? I recently watched Cruising with M.T. and we cringed. It's campy, yeah. I laughed at Pacino high on Amyl Nitrate, dancing in his leather pants, pumping the air with his hairy knuckled fist. But I couldn't laugh at the representations of gays. I mean, every gay in that film is into S and M or fisting or into weird shit (one of the murdered gays carries with him a suitcase full of dildos, hand cuffs, and other instruments I couldn't figure out). Yeah, people are into all kinds of shit. I'm cool with that. But not one homosexual is represented in a positive light in this film. The world is dark and dirty and naughty and wrong. I can't believe Friedkin is out there talking about it. It's not a film to talk about.

Oops. And here I done talked about it.

Scare Tactics

I have to say I am very glad to see ads like the one above.

Takes me back. Remember this one:



Scared the shit out of me. Never wanted to have sex after seeing that one. And when it did finally come down to finally doing it, well, I had to put on a condom, cuz I was afraid of the consequences.

A few months back I bought an Advocate. Not one ad for condoms. Yet, I found two in a Maxim. Hm.

40,000 people are infected a year. That's a lot of people.

I wonder if young gays who see the ads put out by the drug companies promoting HIV/AIDS medications are getting the wrong idea. They may see these ads and think, oh it's manageable now. All I have to do is take a pill. Good for the drug companies, right. Put up some ads showing hot, young gay men sailing or mountain climbing. I mean, sure HIV/AIDS infected men are living longer and healthier lives, but what else is an ad like this showing the young people--and what's with all the side effects/warnings in very tiny print on the bottom of the ad (sometimes even continuing onto the next page) all about.

I don't know. I just want people to stop dying from this disease. It's preventable. I know it comes down to people not being educated or people being misinformed or people just not giving a shit. I want people to give a shit. Especially gay men. Look at our past. So many died. So many died because at that time nobody knew what the fuck it was. And even when we found out, nobody would do anything. President Reagan didn't even say the word AIDS publicly until 1987 and by that time 41,000 people were dead and 90 something thousand were infected.

I think I'm alive and well because of those ads in the 90's. It seems so stupid now thinking about Salt-N-Pepa rapping about wearing rubbers. But it worked. It may have been preachy. It may have been shameless at times. But it worked.

What will put the fear into youth today?

40,000 infected every year.

Makes me sad.

Anyone, anyone?

Summer Reading: Siestas, Fiestas and Drag Queen Hookers?

How's about we all read this for fun after Kiki finishes up with all the bildungsroman he has to read for his class.

It sounds similar to the book I'd really like to write about Dublin, except it has more of a racial/tranny twist. I'm very skeptical of men who write women main characters, but I'm curious enough.

Hedwig Is Alive and Well and Living in the Ukraine

Why do Europeans get to have all the fun? While our AmIdols bend over backwards to deny that they, um, bend over, the annual Eurovision Song Contest provides an endless parade of boyish girls, girly boys and trannies of all stripes, some of whom, like our friend Verka (above), end up placing as high as SECOND. (Meanwhile, grand prize winner Marija Serifovic is a chantenuse who looks like she regularly hangs with the ladies who lunch on The L Word.)

Across the Atlantic, these same folks would be relegated to the mean-spirited freakshow that is the early rounds of AmIdol. Is it any wonder the Scissor Sisters sell millions of records overseas but can't garner more than a "cult" audience here? Call it homophobia if you like, but it seems to be more of an aversion to all things remotely fabulous -- just look at how toast-bland some of our most-popular divas have gotten.

For more info on the insane drag-off that is Eurovision, look no further than GoFugYourself...

http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2007/05/its_that_time_o.html

Don't Call Me Twink, Faggot

I hate labels. I'm not going as far as Michael Stipe by saying labels are for canned goods or whatever the fuck that has-been said in the 90's while he danced around the issue of his sexuality. Here's the exact quote. I can't believe he avoided it for so long. He has a responsibility as a gay artist to let people know. To say, yeah, I'm gay, so what. Instead, I had to hear his wah wah-ing about the environment and Tibet. And remember when he won all those MTV music awards for 'Losing My Religion' and he had a different shirt on for each award. Like one shirt read "Pro-Choice" and another one read "Rock the Vote". Not one of those 12 shirts said "ActUp" or "Queer" or "Bald Ugly Faggot". Nothing. Labels are for food.

I'm a gay man. It's who I am. I'll say it. But will I say I'm a twink or a straight-acting gay? No.


I remember being in some bar and this dude who looked a lot like Gary Coleman came up to me and called me a twink. (He actually said something more offensive like "hey twinkie, I want to suck the creamy filling outta you"). I didn't know exactly what a twink was but I had an idea (well, visuals from gay porn sites). Either way, I didn't want to be called a twink. I didn't want to get lumped into that category of gay. I've done my research and twink I am not. If we follow the rules of the definition, twinks are under the age of 21. They are slender (ok), slightly muscular/athletic (hm), and have little to no body hair (well, that's not me unless you count the pathetic patch I have on my chest as little to no hair).


Then there's the whole straight acting controversy. Lance Bass said this is People Magazine last year:

"I want people to take away from this that being gay is a norm," Bass said. "That the stereotypes are out the window ... I've met so many people like me that it's really encouraged me. I call them the SAGs — the straight-acting gays. We're just normal, typical guys. I love to watch football and drink beer."

Yep, the stereotypes are out the window. Straight men watch football and drink beer. It's true. They do.



Maybe watching football and drinking beer is code. Watching football really means sucking cock and drinking beer means fucking ass. How subversive.

Lance Bass is trying to win over a straight crowd with his coming out by telling them: "Hey, I'm just like you." But he's not. He's not straight. He may drink beer and watch football, but he also eats ass and I'm not sure I know any straight dudes willing to do that. Shit, it's tough to get a straight man to eat pussy. Am I right, ladies? Let's not give straight dudes another hole to avoid with their tongues. Am I right, ladies?

Gay men need role models. We're raised in a heterosexual world where we need people to say I'm gay and it's normal. Lance should have said: "I'm just your normal, typical gay. I love to watch football and drink beer." And those that are hip to the code will know exactly what he means.